House Guest

We have a special house guest this week. Lisa is a very sweet young lady who has Downs Syndrome.

Lisa’s mom, a friend and coworker, went on her honeymoon this week. At the last minute, the plans she had set up for her daughter’s care went awry so we stepped in and invited Lisa to stay with us this week so her mom wouldn’t have to cancel her special vacation. Lots of times our kids’ friends stay over for several days, so I figured, why not now?

So we’ve been trying to show Lisa a good time, plus we’re a pretty busy and fun family anyway. Saturday we went to see a movie Lisa and my younger daughter Stephi wanted to see. Yesterday, we went with a friend and her family to see the Japanese gardens and museum up in Palm Beach, and then we picnicked (spelling?). After all that, we went to Barnes & Nobles so I could write while the girls read anime and teen magazines.

The reason for this post?

I was disappointed in a lot of people around us.

It’s quite obvious that Lisa has Downs Syndrome and that she is disabled. She walks very slowly and carefully. In fact, we had to borrow a wheel chair for her at the gardens as she ran out of energy to complete the walk.

Everywhere we went, people just pushed ahead of Lisa. Instead of holding the door for Lisa, several people just kept piling through while Lisa was holding the door open. At the gardens, there was one Japanese house where we had to take off our shoes and wear their paper slippers. They had only a few chairs to facilitate this procedure. On our way out, when I needed to help Lisa put her shoes back on, adults just stayed in the chairs long after they had their shoes on. They didn’t get up so Lisa could sit while I put on her shoes. And by then, Lisa was flushed and obviously exhausted. Even if not, her balance is obviously not good and she obviously needs to sit down to put on her shoes.

How can people – stable-minded adults – be so insensitive and unkind? Not everyone mind you. But I was amazed how many.

Lisa is such a sweetheart. She has so much love. She glows. She has the sweetest smile and she’s a very well-behaved girl. I say “girl” but she’s really in her 30’s. However, she’s much less mature than my 15 year old daughter and in some ways, less mature than my 11 year old son.

I have a hearing disability and I often get upset, or at sometimes merely annoyed, that people don’t believe that I am hard of hearing, or are insensitive. Recently I told a friend, I almost wished people could see my disability and thus would believe it was real and that I’m not faking it or being rude. But you know what? After this, I’m not sure that seeing is believing – or caring.

I apologize to all the kind and loving and sensitive and caring people out there. And maybe some of the people were just in a daze or faced challenges themselves that appeared to so cavalierly breeze by Lisa.
It’s just my hope that people on the whole will start being kinder and care more for our challenged, less abled neighbors.